Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
