At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize