Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
