I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
