I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
