so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
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