shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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