The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
