I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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