Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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