oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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