I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize