Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize