i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize