Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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