i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
