so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Every concussion has its silver lining
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
