# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
this will be a night to untag.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
