I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize