Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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