so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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