The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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