I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You are a genius and a whore.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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