Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
