I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
