The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
