I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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