hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
And then he peed in my hair
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