I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
its not stalking. its research.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
