his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
