Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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