Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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