I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
