Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I can't turn off my feet"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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