Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
