Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize