there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
