guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
