Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize