Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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