Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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