you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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