Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize