he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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