Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
