Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize