I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
