4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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