I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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