We're facebook friends in real life
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
