I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize