I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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