So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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