You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
