im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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