Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
