it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
