I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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