We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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