I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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