I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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