i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
