i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Randomize
