I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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