He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
