so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
