so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
