just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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