Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Pooping to opera.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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