"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
