my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
